KAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My life is hectic right now and I feel myself going into a spiral downfall. Have you ever saw the worst thing that could ever happen to you coming face forward at a 100 miles per hour?!!! My dad is very sick and in August of this year he lost his kidneys. It is so hard to watch the strongest man I know be so weak. My father is the epitome of what I look for in a husband, friend, and father. He has done so much for me and I don't know if I'm strong enough to suffice without him. He is the man who made all of my dreams arms length away, he has never disappointed me, and know the worst thing I can do is not return the favor of not disappointing him. I wish I could return the favor of all of the endless love and care that he has shown me by finding him a kidney but I can't. Not that he expects me to but I feel obligated to find it. Its crazy how one day your life can be one way and then another day it's in total kaos. I searching long and hard to find my center but it is continuously alluding me. I wonder if I will ever get it back...........